I got an email the other day from my divorced cousin, who I haven’t spoken to in a few months. She wrote that her ex-husband has remarried and is expecting a baby with his new wife this winter.

As I read her email, I cringed. I could only imagine how she felt. Sure she has been divorce for years, but it still has to sting a little to find out your ex has remarried and has a new baby on the way.

You don’t hear divorced people speak of this very often. No one wants to admit that after a divorce, they actually care whether or not their ex has found someone new. But deep inside, it stirs up some latent emotions. You are reminded again of how your marriage failed, how the dreams you had together were dashed. It just isn’t what you could of ever imagined way back when, when you said you vows and promised to stay together until death do you part. I bet it never crossed your mind that someday your husband would be walking down the aisle with another woman.

Of course, like my cousin, you will put on a brave face and may even tell people you are happy for your ex and his new wife. But anybody who has been through a divorce knows that although you have moved on and let go, it is normal to feel that twinge of sadness.

Personally, I cannot even fathom having sex with the ex, the thought makes me queasy. But apparently there are divorcing couples out there who continue to have sex with each other after a divorce. I find this quite surprising.

Why get a divorce if you still want to sleep together? Maybe couples who have had an amicable divorce still find each other attractive and use each other physically until they find a new relationship? But it seems more likely that couples who are intimate after divorce are unable to sever the ties between them. It makes it twice as hard to move on if you are still having sexual relations with your ex.

There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life. You can still continue to have a platonic relationship with your ex and it is great if you can still be friends. But that is where it should end.

Although it may be comforting and safe to continue relations with your ex, you are preventing yourself from meeting someone new. By holding on to the past, you put your dreams for your new life after divorce on hold too. It is time to let go and move on.

After suffering through my nasty, long divorce battle, I was emotionally drained. When the divorce papers were finally signed, I felt like celebrating. I had heard about divorce parties, but never got the chance to throw myself one. Then I met Rosalind Sedacca, a divorced woman who also never had a divorce party and we decided it would be fun to throw ourselves and everyone else who has been through a divorce, the largest divorce party in the U.S.

South Florida’s first-ever Divorce Party will be held at Christopher’s Nightclub in Fort Lauderdale on Friday, March 7th celebrating new beginnings for women and men who are facing or have experienced divorce. The theme of the Divorce Party is: Laugh, let go and move on. Your new life begins now!

The Divorce Party is being sponsored by Divorce Magazine(www.divorcemagazine.com) and co-sponsored by two prominent professionals who practice in South Florida. Cynthia Tiano, Esq., “The Mediator,” is the author of the new book, Happily Divorced (www.divorceTV.tv). Priscilla Marotta, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and director of the Center of Psychological Effectiveness (www.solutionsnottalk.com).

“Our approach is connect with divorcing or divorced people in a light-hearted, fun way through a Divorce Party at one of the most popular night clubs in the heart of South Florida,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. Rosalind is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! “By offering fun games, contests, music, drinks, prizes and a free Goodie Bag, we’re inviting attendees to release some energy and have a good time in a safe, supportive environment.”

“We are expecting between 400-600 people all looking to have a good time. Your’e welcome to bring your friends to the celebration – even those who are married. And who knows, some people may even end up meeting their next ex!” We have planned a full roster of activities including a “Pin the Blame on Your Ex” game, “Toss the Wedding Ring in the Toilet,” and dancing to your favorite break-up songs all night long.

However, the theme is not about bashing and revenge. Quite the contrary. In addition to holding a “Worst Ex of South Florida” contest, we are also having a “Happy Divorce” contest inviting stories about split partners who are still getting along and plan on remaining friends. In fact, we promise that attendees who actually show up with their ex will receive special prizes.

“Our books, CDs and seminars offer sound advice for a very serious subject,” notes Sedacca. “But everyone needs time to kick up their heels and laugh, especially when life is stressful.” “The Divorce Party concept is our way of encouraging people to add balance to their lives,” adds Rowe. “Laughter, especially at ourselves, is one of the healthiest things we can do.”

Several other South Florida sponsors, including www.divorce360.com will be supporting the event with discount coupons and products in the free Goodie Gift Bags. Plus the new management at Christopher’s Night Club will be offering “Marriage on the Rocks” drink specials, discounted Heinekens beer and a Ladies Drink Free promotion from 9:30 to 11:30!

If you live in the South Florida area, come out and join us, it is going to be a lot of fun! Sign the VIP Guest List at www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html. VIP Guests will save $2 off the $10-at-the-door admission . Christopher’s Night Club is located at 2857 East Oakland Park Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale.