As I read her email, I cringed. I could only imagine how she felt. Sure she has been divorce for years, but it still has to sting a little to find out your ex has remarried and has a new baby on the way.

You don’t hear divorced people speak of this very often. No one wants to admit that after a divorce, they actually care whether or not their ex has found someone new. But deep inside, it stirs up some latent emotions. You are reminded again of how your marriage failed, how the dreams you had together were dashed. It just isn’t what you could of ever imagined way back when, when you said you vows and promised to stay together until death do you part. I bet it never crossed your mind that someday your husband would be walking down the aisle with another woman.

Of course, like my cousin, you will put on a brave face and may even tell people you are happy for your ex and his new wife. But anybody who has been through a divorce knows that although you have moved on and let go, it is normal to feel that twinge of sadness.

I recently heard of a couple who went through a difficult divorce years ago. Neither of them ever imagined at the time that they would be able to be friends again. They now live on the same street, both are remarried and get together frequently with the new spouses.

Another divorced woman I know has her ex-husband over for coffee several times a week. My former mother in law, after being divorced for 13 years, took her ex-husband in when he was dying of cancer and cared for him up until his death. Stories like theses give us hope that just maybe we can put the bitterness and hurt feelings from the past behind us and be able to get along again with our ex-spouses.

In these examples, it took years for the couples to become friends again. Another factor to consider is that these couples are now in their 60’s and 70’s, so maybe time does heal all wounds.

Right now the only thing you may feel for your ex is hatred and anger and the thought of being his friend seems impossible. But give yourself time to work through your emotions. Friendship with the ex may not be possible right now, but you never know what the future holds.

Discover the three things you must know to protect yourself during a divorce….

Why get a divorce if you still want to sleep together? Maybe couples who have had an amicable divorce still find each other attractive and use each other physically until they find a new relationship? But it seems more likely that couples who are intimate after divorce are unable to sever the ties between them. It makes it twice as hard to move on if you are still having sexual relations with your ex.

There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life. You can still continue to have a platonic relationship with your ex and it is great if you can still be friends. But that is where it should end.

Although it may be comforting and safe to continue relations with your ex, you are preventing yourself from meeting someone new. By holding on to the past, you put your dreams for your new life after divorce on hold too. It is time to let go and move on.

You would think that when a husband cheats on his wife, he would feel guilt and remorse. When confronting a cheating husband you would expect tears, apologies and begs for forgiveness from him. But often the opposite happens. A cheater who is caught red handed turns on his wife and becomes mean, nasty and confrontational. He blames her for forcing him to look elsewhere for affection. By attacking her, he eases his guilt and justifies his actions.

Many women, who confront their husbands about an affair, are shocked when their husbands display anger and indifference instead of remorse. Since women tend to blame themselves when things go wrong, many women will spend time wondering what they did to cause the affair. They agonize over what they might of done to drive their husbands into the arms of another woman. They beat themselves up, analyzing what they could of done differently to prevent the affair.

But what these women need to understand is that there was nothing they could of done. Their husband made a choice. That choice was made freely. If the husband was feeling unhappy in his marriage, he should of confronted his wife and dealt with the issues instead of choosing to become involved with another woman.

If your husband has cheated, do not blame yourself. His infidelity is not your fault. You are not responsible for another person’s actions, only your own. Sometimes, as crazy as it may sound, an affair can be a gift. You now know what kind of person you are married to. A man who blames his wife for his infidelity is a coward.This is a person who cannot be trusted, a man who is immature and selfish. You have a choice to make. You can either stay married to a man that you cannot trust or you can start over and rebuild your life by surrounding yourself with positive, trustworthy people. Remember you cannot fix or change your husband, you can only change yourself.

It is funny how the law of attraction works. Like attracts like. So her out of control, devious husband has attracted a lawyer who is just like him. Her own attorney informed her that her husband’s attorney is not interested in settling because he always goes to trial, that is how he makes his money.

How sad that the average cost for a divorce is reportedly $106,000 per case in some areas of the U.S. That money could be used to put a child through college, instead it is squandered on high price lawyers who prey on their clients, knowing their clients are in a highly emotional state.

Of course, not all divorce lawyers are bad. There are some caring, kind divorce lawyers who genuinely want to help their clients. Many of them practice collaborate divorce law and work with mediators to try and settle the cases they see as quickly as possible. There is also the argument that many aggressive divorce lawyers are just doing their job, trying to win the case for their clients. But at what cost? If you know that your client is lying and trying to cheat his or her spouse how do you represent someone like that? You wonder how they sleep at night.

I think it all goes back again to theory that we attract like minded people into our lives. If we are angry and vengeful we will attract angry, vengeful people. Until divorcing couples wake up and realize that fighting during divorce is only going to bring misery, there will still be plenty of hungry divorce lawyers looking to make a fortune at their expense. When couples remember that it is possible to divorce and be kind and fair, then they will attract the same kind of lawyers and mediators who can help them settle their divorce fairly and quickly.

South Florida’s first-ever Divorce Party will be held at Christopher’s Nightclub in Fort Lauderdale on Friday, March 7th celebrating new beginnings for women and men who are facing or have experienced divorce. The theme of the Divorce Party is: Laugh, let go and move on. Your new life begins now!

The Divorce Party is being sponsored by Divorce Magazine(www.divorcemagazine.com) and co-sponsored by two prominent professionals who practice in South Florida. Cynthia Tiano, Esq., “The Mediator,” is the author of the new book, Happily Divorced (www.divorceTV.tv). Priscilla Marotta, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and director of the Center of Psychological Effectiveness (www.solutionsnottalk.com).

“Our approach is connect with divorcing or divorced people in a light-hearted, fun way through a Divorce Party at one of the most popular night clubs in the heart of South Florida,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. Rosalind is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! “By offering fun games, contests, music, drinks, prizes and a free Goodie Bag, we’re inviting attendees to release some energy and have a good time in a safe, supportive environment.”

“We are expecting between 400-600 people all looking to have a good time. Your’e welcome to bring your friends to the celebration – even those who are married. And who knows, some people may even end up meeting their next ex!” We have planned a full roster of activities including a “Pin the Blame on Your Ex” game, “Toss the Wedding Ring in the Toilet,” and dancing to your favorite break-up songs all night long.

However, the theme is not about bashing and revenge. Quite the contrary. In addition to holding a “Worst Ex of South Florida” contest, we are also having a “Happy Divorce” contest inviting stories about split partners who are still getting along and plan on remaining friends. In fact, we promise that attendees who actually show up with their ex will receive special prizes.

“Our books, CDs and seminars offer sound advice for a very serious subject,” notes Sedacca. “But everyone needs time to kick up their heels and laugh, especially when life is stressful.” “The Divorce Party concept is our way of encouraging people to add balance to their lives,” adds Rowe. “Laughter, especially at ourselves, is one of the healthiest things we can do.”

Several other South Florida sponsors, including www.divorce360.com will be supporting the event with discount coupons and products in the free Goodie Gift Bags. Plus the new management at Christopher’s Night Club will be offering “Marriage on the Rocks” drink specials, discounted Heinekens beer and a Ladies Drink Free promotion from 9:30 to 11:30!

If you live in the South Florida area, come out and join us, it is going to be a lot of fun! Sign the VIP Guest List at www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html. VIP Guests will save $2 off the $10-at-the-door admission . Christopher’s Night Club is located at 2857 East Oakland Park Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale.

You would surprised at how many websites there are on the web for men promising to teach them how to not pay alimony, child support and how to “protect” their assets during divorce by hiding them, selling them and moving them in to overseas accounts. His buddies think this is a great idea and encourage him. Little does he know that not only are many of these tactics illegal, he is now waging a divorce battle where no one wins. Expect for the divorce lawyers, of course.

The other typical scenario begins with the woman. She is married to a “nice guy”that she no longer finds attractive. She begins an affair and now wants a divorce so she can be with her new love. Thinking her husband is a pushover and will not fight back, she hires a snake of an attorney and makes unreasonable demands concerning spousal support and the division of assets. She wants everything and is encouraged by her high priced lawyer who knows that the longer this divorce is drawn out ,the more money he will make. Her husband is forced to fight back and the couple journeys down the road to divorce hell.

When a man or woman starts using dirty divorce tactics it backs the other spouse into a corner. They have no choice but to strike back. Now you have two people ,who once loved each other and vowed to spend the rest of their lives together, at each other’s throats.

If you use resort to using dirty divorce tactics, I can guarantee that not only will you eventually lose your divorce, you will be turning your divorce into a battlefield and the casualties will be your spouse, your children and yourself. The damage that will be inflicted will be impossible to repair. Stop and think with your heart and not your emotions.

Do you really want to destroy your soon to be ex? Or can you calm down and do what is best for your family? Hiring a good mediator or collaborate divorce lawyer will save you money and heartache. Remember, when their is bitterness and fighting during a divorce, the only one who wins is the lawyers. You and your spouse are left poorer, emotionally battered and enemies for life. You owe it to your children and each other to try and work things out as peacefully as possible.

But instead of taking her life, Angie made a decision. She decided that success is the best revenge and started a new online boutique instead. She named it “Smashing Katie”. At her new online breakup boutique, you can get the tools you need to help you cope with your divorce. At www.smashingkatie.com you can find an array of interesting items designed to make you feel better after a breakup and even laugh too.

If you are feeling angry, try the “Ex Knife Block Set” or let off some steam and vent with the “Things You Do That Piss Me Off” pad. There is also the “Get Back Out There Breakup Care Package” and the” Eat, Bitch & Wine Cookbook”.

The site is filled with funny, clever items that are the perfect pick me up when you are feeling down. Angie has turned lemons into lemonade and now has an exciting new business that helps other people get over their own breakups. Can you turn your pain into profit? Remember, being successful and happy is the best revenge. Let Angie’s story inspire you to pick yourself up and get moving. You have a gift to share and a success story waiting to be told. Follow your passion and find something to do that you love. By focusing on something new and positive in your life, the pain from your divorce will soon become a distant memory.

One mother has left her kids and fled to Hawaii. She lives in a lavish town house with her boyfriend and drives his luxury cars, including a Porsche and a Lexus. she currently owes $12,000 in back support. Another mother is on the top of Mississippi’s Ten Most Wanted list for failing to pay more than $45,000 in child support.

I could never understand how a father could turn his back on his kids, but for some reason it is even more horrifying when a mom does it. Mothers are supposed to have maternal instincts, they sacrifice for their children, not abandon them. The rise in deadbeat moms is frightening. I guess this was inevitable with more men gaining custody of the children during divorce.

Both mothers and fathers must understand that when you become a parent you are financially responsible for them. You can’t refuse pay child support because you are angry at your ex, think you deserve joint custody or feel your do not make enough money. The kids must come first, before your own needs. You brought your kids into this world and as a parent you are responsible. My advice to deadbeat parents is this: Grow up, stop whining and stop being so selfish. Start paying your child support and become someone your kids can be proud of.

Find out how to protect yourself financially during your divorce….